I missed last week’s session as I went away for the weekend. I went away with goals in mind, and my quit date on the horizon. Getting off the plane in Dublin, I was desperate to spark up. Hurrying to find my lighter in the bottom of my bag, I took that usually reassuring and unmatched first toke… And it was grim. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve cut down so much at this point or because my girlfriend stood next to me not trying too hard to mask her distaste, but something wasn’t right. I forced down about a quarter of the rollie I’d hurriedly made and then gave up, reaching for my vape instead. Hitting the spot instantly, I came to realise my relationship with smoking had changed.
I thought it would be easy to put the stats, the critical thinking and the guilt of continuing smoking to the back of my head, as I wasn’t in direct contact with the support councillors for nearly a fortnight, but, alas, I was wrong. I had, and still have, a constant feeling that somehow they’ll know if I slip up. The Switchboard group has got me to really change the way I think about smoking.
I’m approaching my quit date very quickly now: I only have today and tomorrow left of being a smoker. Writing that down feels more liberating than frightening, which is actually a surprise.
Fast-forwarding to Thursday 15th March, it’s the last session until my quit date. This time around we discussed what we’re most worried about. For me, it’s the inevitable moment of weakness that will come probably while out and about at the pub, a party, or similar. What’s interesting is the fact that it – on average – takes people seven attempts to quit smoking. I’d have thought it would be less, but thinking about when I last tried to quit I can actually imagine that being the case.
This is the final session until my quit date, which is Sunday 18th March. Watch this space…
This is a triple blog, as mentioned, which brings me to this week. There’s no session – a planned break. It should be a good test, as my quit date has been and gone now, but I’ve not been tested by the temptations of smoking while indulging in a pint…
What’s been useful, if not crippling, is the fact I contracted some sort of fluey bug over the weekend, rendering me useless for a few days. Not leaving my bed from Sunday night until Tuesday afternoon meant I not only abstained from cigarettes but from vaping as well. It was easy enough, due to being knocked out by this illness, but now I am better I’m back on the vape. I don’t miss cigarettes as of yet, again thanks to a chesty cough.
I will keep this instalment brief, as the hardest part is yet to come. I’ll be blogging about my progress again next week, after a hopefully chilled weekend where smoking isn’t something I think of. Wish me luck!